Change your language, change your relationship

Your language exposes a lot about what’s going on in your world.

How loveable you believe you are. Mark my words: loveable. Not loving.
How you look at life and what it brings to you.
How you experience setbacks.

Two people may go through the same ordeal and use completely different language to describe what happened, creating a completely different narrative.

What’s the narrative in your life?
And how is it shaping your reality?

Are you on a constant ‘search’ for yourself, chasing the next best solution to ‘heal’, maintaining the restlessness in yourself and your relationships, because you've told yourself that you need to always find something somewhere?

Or can you see life as a continuous exploration that doesn’t require you to ‘find’ yourself, because you’re already with you? How would that increase your presence in this moment, knowing that there's nothing out there that's waiting to be found?

What if you don’t need healing, and instead you can see that your wholeness has been there all along, albeit with cracks that simply want to be acknowledged and embraced?

And let’s say that the one thing you’re só ashamed of that you won’t give words to, it might be shifted into compassion when you share it with somebody you trust?

What if you didn’t fail, but you learned more about what you don’t want and you’re more experienced now?

I will use myself as an example.

Change your language, change your perspective

Many may argue that with two ended marriages and two other long-term relationships (plus many short-term relationship and countless romances) my relationship life is an endless stream of failures, simply because my history doesn't include a 25+ year marriage (yet).

"I failed."

That's one way of seeing it.

And I've used the language all too often in the back of my mind. It hurt. It held me back. It made me believe that I wasn't the right person for the job as a Love coach.

My language now is that I have successfully always chosen what's good for me, even if that meant leaving behind a co-dependent marriage or a relationship that held me back. I never gave up without trying; I tried and tried and tried, because leaving was also scary. I almost succumbed to the notion that me leaving would equal failure. But in the end, I left.

And I feel rich in experiences with só many relationship dynamics, knowing that I've shifted my pattern from over-giving to heartful living.

Not just because I shifted the narrative within myself, but also because I changed the language in my communication.

You see…

Shifting the inner and outer speech

Your language matters. First, in relationship to yourself:

Shifting "I can't" to "I am learning".

Releasing the narrative of

"I have an insecure attachment style and my wounded child is screaming to be loved"

and empowering yourself with

"I am lovable, and I am loved. I have had intense experiences in life that inspire me to grow and develop, so I can teach my children a new way of feeling safe within."

Also in relationship to others:

From

"you constantly pressure me to do A, can't you just do this yourself?!"

to

"I'm noticing that when you ask me to do A, I feel I really want to support you in this, but the circumstances currently don't allow this yet. Can we both have a look at this and see how we can manage getting A done?"

Or from

"Why aren't you here? You're away constantly. You're not including me, and you're only focusing on your own needs. Why can't you think of us more?!"

to

"I see how you're trying to sort things out, and I só understand that it's challenging to keep all the plates spinning. Yet, I have to mention that I feel very left out at the moment and I would really appreciate if you could take me along in your world for a bit. Would you let me know where you're at?"

It makes all the difference to how you are received.

Change your language, change your reality, 
change your relationships.

The more loving you speak, the more expansive your reality will become, the more connected your relationships can be.

Much love,
Michelle