The Myth of the Twin Flame

What I'm about to share with you may not be easy to receive. But I'm not here to be popular or keep you safe in the fantasy you may treasure. I want to see you succeed for real. I want you to get back into the flow of love, not illusion. Which means that you need to let go of the myth of twin flame love. Because yes, it's bs.

It’s safer for the mind to believe the love you lost was your twin flame, rather than go inward and acknowledge you are actually a love addict. It’s romanticism disguised in a spiritual package.

Because in the end, it’s so much easier to outsource the reason why it you’re still attaching to the idea of them. It’s easier to connect it to something spiritual, than to look at why your nervous systems got so activated around each other. In the meantime, you can’t let go because of your own abandonment issues. You hold on to that memory. The fantasies. The potential.

You might even say that being twin flames was the very reason why you didn’t make it. Because admitting that they triggered you too much is too confronting. You look for an esoterical explanation that feels a lot softer for your broken heart. After all, saying out loud that they didn’t treat you right, or that you both didn’t yet have the skills to break through the pattern, is too hard to digest.

It sounds romantic, doesn’t it? To break up, even though you were soulmates. “He was my twin flame.” So deep. Who could argue with that? Like a spiritual bandage on the wound of the heart, disguising how the nervous system simply couldn’t deal with the trauma that was relived unconsciously.

This is how we keep the romantic tale of impossible love afloat. Putting relationships on a pedestal. Something we may never achieve, while craving it simultaneously. True love needs a component of impossibility, in that narrative. An element of challenge. So, they must be ‘the one’, because it’s hard. They left, so what if they’re the one to fight for? That’s what love is supposed to be, right? Something to fight for? The dragon needs to be slain first. Curses need to be broken. Families need to be deceived, and poison needs to accidentally kill the young lovers.

Your love needs to overcome all the obstacles so that they will finally, after you worked so hard to keep the love alive, confess that they loved you all along and should never have left you. You are soulmates, after all. Another fairytale that serves as the holy grail of relating.

Meanwhile, we may miss what’s in front of us. The love that certainly isn’t always easy, but that may not compare to the soul-crushing experience of the so-called twin flame. The love that feels calm. That invites us to go inward when we get triggered and take responsibility of our childhood trauma, while meeting us at a soul level to grow together in this life.

Holding on to the past and all its illusions is actually a way to not committing to this love. A way to protect your heart from more heartache. The story you’re telling yourself is a brilliant way to build a wall. Such a mind fuck, isn’t it? You crave love. Yet you hold it back yourself by choosing illusion instead.

Your soul wants something different, sweet one. It wants more for you.

It wants you to choose the realness of what love entails. Every day. The love that shatters the illusion. The love that chooses you for all of who you are, including the flaws. Because you know there’s no such thing as ‘the one’ until you make them to be. You make it work. Together.

Once you let go of the illusion of love lost, and you can admit to the fact that you both weren’t ready to face the hardships of relationships, that’s when truth can arise. Love and relationships are two different things, after all. Love is easy. Relationships aren’t. Once you know the difference, true love can sustain.