
The best Relationship you can ever Develop: The Relationship with Yourself

Men versus Women in Relationships = crap

Sex & Intimacy: It's never really about sex, is it...
One of the most requested ways to spend times with me, by couples, is around their (sexual) intimacy. Not necessarily because it’s problematic, but because they’be been together for quite a while and want to go deeper. Deeper. I love those sessions. Especially when I get to work with couples multiple times, or – like a short while ago – for two days in a private retreat in their home in Greece; I get to be with couples in their most intimate and vulnerable moments. Honestly, there’s nothing more beautiful and humbling than this. Because unlike you may expect, the journey is not around learning new tricks that get you off even better.
It's deeper than just tricks...👉🏼 It’s not about techniques (although I got plenty). 👉🏼 It’s not about sexy outfits (plenty of those too). 👉🏼 It’s not about the latest version of the satisfyer (no comment). Nothing wrong with any of those, it’s just that it’s not what it’s REALLY about. What I’m most interested in, first and foremost, is: how do these two people meet each other? In other words: where do they find that meeting point that allows them both to fully step into the Space of Sex – without it needing to look like anything? Because yes, I love how Esther Perel teaches us that sex is a space you enter. It’s not something you do. It’s an erotic space that has an entrance. And thát requires something entirely different. Thát’s a whole new entrance.
Finding the Entrance to the Erotic Space
Often, what I see is that this entrance can be hard to find. Either the entrance into the familiar is there, but not the entrance into the new. In other words: there’s a routine, but what else is possible? Or the entrance is blocked, because of unresolved issues between the partners, or past trauma. In other cases, the entrance seems to be for one person only; there’s a difference in desires and they need to find an entrance that allows them both.
I wonder if you have ever encountered this in yourself or others:
You may read it in the examples that very often, the challenges people meet around sexual intimacy is not about sex. It’s about larger topics.
Spicing up your sex life is never just about the superficial; it’s about going deeper into yourself.
I’d love to invite you to go a little deeper too. Ask yourself and your partner the following question: What does sex mean to you?
Oh, and remember to stay curious; that’s the antidote to boredom ;-). Always something new to discover! Much love, |
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