|
There’s only one person that you need to deal with every day of your life.
Every. Single. Minute. Of the Day.
You.
The way I see it, I’d better make sure I like myself enough to hang out with me all the time. Like: 24/7/365. No escaping.
When shit hits the fan? I can’t always rely on my beloved. I can on maaaaaany occassions, but not always. He doesn’t have to be there all the time.
Nor do my friends. Or my family. I cán rely on me.
Here’s the thing: it’s great to have an inner circle who’s there for you. They’re priceless! Keep them. Love them. But we cannot always expect them to show up when and how we want to.
Your Inner Circle is Priceless, and yet...
Every person in our life, has one of them themselves: Lives I mean.
Rationally I’m sure you get that.
Emotionally that might be different.
Depending on your past, it may sometimes feel a little lonely when somebody cannot give you the time or support you need.
It might feel like an old wound being torn open when your bestie tells you they’re a little busy and can’t come just now.
Been there?
We pretty much all have. Now, or back in the days.
Maybe when you were young. Perhaps your caregivers gave all they could, but they didn’t know how to be there emotionally. You may have felt scared, needing more.
- Perhaps you now feel super undernourished because of a lack in your childhood and you crave connection with ‘your’ people.
- Perhaps you now feel numb, because you protected yourself from that same lack and have deactivated any need.
- Perhaps you feel overwhelmed easily, because people were too intrusive back then and now you build walls as soon as the overwhelm starts.
We all respond differently.
It's NORMAL to...
Before I continue:
Wanting emotional support, wanting to be soothed and nurtured, is a very normal human condition.
Needing connection, physical touch, emotional presence: it’s all NORMAL.
We need to normalize that for ourselves – even though it may seem awkward when it’s not been there consistently.
Similarly, it’s NORMAL that adults cannot always be there for you – sometimes even when it’s hard.
Those are the moments that it becomes even more important that you’ve established a healthy relationship with yourself.
But what does that mean, a healthy relationship with yourself?
- It means being able to stay connected and open to your own heart, even when people say no.
- It means being able to regulate yourself, also when it’s hard.
- It means you can hear the voice of your own inner child when it cries for support, and you’re able to hold that child daily – giving it what it’s always wanted so badly.
- It means being able to refrain from destructive behavior – in difficult or even happy times – because you can see through the need behind that short-term pleasure.
- It means being okay spending time alone, without needing to fill it up by finding somebody to hang out with.
- It means holding yourself through sadness, through grief, through anger – without being reactive, without needing to numb yourself, without putting all feelings away.
- It means seeing your own Bullshit and choosing to do better.
- It means being able to discern between who you are as a person, and the potential stupid behavior you might sometimes portray.
- It also means being able to reach out for support...!!!
I’ve said it many times before, and I will say it again:
The relationship with
YOU
is the foundation of
every other relationship in your life.
This is not me preaching more individualism; this is me sharing about mature sovereignty.
Mature sovereignty is the ability to get back into your own center, while you navigate life and interact with people.
Which means: it’s a relational skill.
And it’s a skill only developed by those who’re brave enough to face all aspects of life.
You deserve a wonderfully fulfilling relationship with the amazing person that you are!
Many clients have gone before you... and they're so much more connected to themselves now! Can I support you too?
Much love,
Michelle
|
